--*CONSENSUAL

You tried, twice.

I was tied to another.

but obliged.even took it futher.

we had an understanding.

Never demanding.more than enough.

tough skin was a necessity.access to the heart was limited.

damn near restricted."conflict of interest".

but I grew an interest in you.

leaped hurdle after hurdle until I tripped over you.

Never been accident prone.but I condoned this.

drawn to his E G O.

where did "HE" go?

the guy I met.

the guy I let into my thoughts.my heart.

my personal s p a c e.

faced the reality of the situation.all the unnecessary frustration.

the natural flirtation and temptation.minus "relations".

and I was left with faulty expectations.

of what we were SUPPOSE to become.

done did my share of dirt.

maybe I deserved the hurt.

the torture that rattles my heart and my brain.

as I go iNsAn3.

maybe I brought about this rain.

this hurricane.

as the wind blows..I KNOW.

what's real.WE had a deal.

now I must deal.with this.

--*moore_ambie<3

--*HANGover

Headache bakes in the temple.simple, careless mistakes.countless shots I begin to take.
For my sake, I should stop.drop the glass & run.but it's already beginning.
head's spinning.rooms spinning.Sinning, while praying for a bail out.
Wishing you'd get the hell out.my head.While dreaming of you in my bed.
I said I was done, but as I take that 1st sip.I slip back into old habits.gotta have it.
Like an addict, the numbness is sensational.Euphorically speaking.seeking a way out.
About to run out.of liquor.HIT HER!
Tolerance level is at its peak.so to speak now would be deadly.
And then, the medley begins to play.as I sway.I'm drifting away.
everything goes gray.as I wait on the day.to come.I succumb to it.
And thus come the vomit.
I begin to throw up the bullshit.the foolery.the false hope.
It's time to cope with this hangover.it's all over.time to get sober.

--*moore_ambie

--*KARMA

Revolving door.I swear I don't care no more.It just baffles me.How you hassle me.
Wrestled with the relationship when it was.and when it was no longer?now you long for her.
You treated her like a convenient store.coming and going as you very well pleased.
with such ease.PLEASE!yo bad.Truth be told, I was the "best you ever had".
and sadly,you know it.It shows.in your walk.in your talk.hell, in your clothes.
Hoes got the best of your conscious.Took advantage of your [ego].
"MANdingo" overid your brain.trained you to follow your dick.Pick the "quick-fix" over me.
over us.was it worth it?!I hope she sucked you real good.fcuked you real good.enough.
this is beyond "tough love".we're done.You played me to the left.now.there's nothing left.
I'm gone.I've grown.

--*moore_ambie<3

--*DETOX

3-step process:
Admit.Submit.Commit.
plays on repeat.I don't want a repeat life though.Defeat my life.Because I can't beat this addiction that has become so rife.And the ultimate strife, is MYSELF.
Left turns that resulted in crash & burns.But the yearn to do better.to be better.Never stranded her.Only demanded of her to try.
So why are we STILL conflicted?Addicted to pain.can't let go of the cocaine.My Heart envies my Brain.and its ability to analyze.rationalize what the Heart merely sympathizes with.
The Brain tells me to let it go.While the Heart stays faithful.so.I'm letting it go.
THINKING is all I know.Slow to feel, it's not reliable.The Heart isn't stable.isn't able to make that decision.at least.not yet.forget what I want, remember what I need.and revisions MUST be done..
W I T H D R A W A L has begun.

--*moore_ambie<3

--*PRETEND

I don't even ask.WE KNOW.Blind eyes do see.
She so official.While you steady being foul.
No Rules.Just playing the game.While I'm ahead of the game.
shame clouds your mind, excuses your thoughts.emotions.
This potion, is deadly.but you steady asking for it, pleading.
Saying your body needing.While feeding lies.I'm on full.
Can't take anymore.Pour me a glass of DENIAL to wash it all down.Drowning.JUST HAD to test the waters.Clowning.JUST HAD to take it farther.I don't know her so you don't care.Share?
NEVER.But that was very clever.However, I'll play the game, because baby, I plays it well.Hell, you know this!Show this Bitch who she messing with.Show this nigga who he miss being with..Be the "TYPICAL" trick.In a game of follow the dick.Quick to judge "them".but me & him, we just "PRETENDING".Defending foolery and lies.Disguised by faulty alibi's.As salty cries stream down my face.I am left with a terrible taste in my mouth.Everything's gone south.to a point of no return.Concern for my well-being is put on hold.Told myself not to do this again.P.r.e.t.e.n.d this wasn't reality.when in all actuality, it was.

--*moore_ambie<3

--*The Ring Of Time

Conflicted.
Depicted a solid ground.but found quicksand.
Hands up as I begin to sink.deeper.THINK.deeper.
On all that has transpired.What was accepted & what was required.
Tired, but restless.I've slept less.Trying to make these dreams reality.
Because dreamworld is better.I don't sweat her.or him.or, them...
Those, I suppose are why I'm where I'm at.EXACT mind frame.
No time frame for our hearts.They beat to their own rhythm & rhyme & I'm afraid TIME has run out.Doubt & pessimistic thoughts cloud my mind.Behind this smile lies an overly-bitten tongue.Hungover from reckless actions.But the attraction, it never died.No matter how much YOU lied.No matter how much I tried.Pretended I had not cried about this!Longed for that kiss.Felt betrayed & dismissed.Pissed.I STILL missed you.Resentment & reconciliation play tug-a-war with my mind.But TIME.TIME has run out.Doubt blocks as you clock in & out of my life.my heart.so, don't even start.Part of me believes in us this TIME.but the other part sees the unpaid OVERTIME.

--*moore_ambie<3

||N0T.USER.FRiENDLY||

--*USER.FRIEDNLY: (adj.); easy to use, operate, understand

SYN: accessible, convenient, seasonable, available, comfortable

Approx. a year ago my lovely friends and I came up with the saying ||N0T.USER.FRiENDLY||. We had it as our signature on our cell phones, our display name on various networking sites, and even as our status update on facebook. Yes, people from everywhere would now associate the word not user-friendly with my friends and I. Great! However, it is only fitting that I clarify and explain exactly what not user-friendly means, what it represents, and how it has any relation to us.

First off, ||N0T.USER.FRiENDLY|| is NOT a clique, crew, gang, or mean we are mean "unfriendly" people. It is not isolated just to me and my friends. Don't get me wrong, if I was to hear anyone else say, "I'm NOT user-friendly" I would look at them with disgust and expose them for the emulative phony they were.
However. Not user-friendly is open to ANYONE. You see, not user-friendly is bigger than me, my friends, society.
It is A WAY OF BEING..
A WAY OF CARRYING ONESELF..
It is when ones standards and worth are truly put to the test..it is a REACTION..
To be not user-friendly is to be independent, strong-willed individualist, who are not afraid or ashamed to stand up for oneself and/or what they believe in.
Not.User.Friendly is a form of confidence displayed in ones walk, talk, and demeanor.

Along with these assets, intelligence leads the pack.
Not.User.Friendly are smart, clever, witty, individuals who don't take questioning ones intelligence, or being played for a fool lightly. They KNOW & ACKNOWLEDGE the "game" and therefore stay two moves ahead. There is a zero-to-low tolerance for foolery, deceit, fraudulence, and trifling behavior, and any such act is exposed and disposed of.

~SiMPLY COMPLEX~ there is more than meets the eye.
Not.User.Friendly is beyond "dare to be different", it is being comfortable with oneself whether people like it or not. Standards and Values are top priority, while settling is not even an option.

"Not.User.Friendly; I wasn't BRED this way I was LED this way" --ADM<3

>>>THE MOVEMENT HAS BEGUN>>>

i'm just my G0D.GiVEN.NAME

Solange wrote the song.

&& ii related.

Too many times people (especially our family && friends)
put their perceptions and expectations of us on pedestals.

ii am who ii am.
growing.knowing.
G0D couldn't have made me more perfectly imperfect.
ii have flaws.ii fall.
but despite it all..i'm TRUE to my name.
my "GOD.GiVEN.NAME"...NEVER ASHAMED.
ii am headstrong, confident, && i-n-d-e-p-e-n-d-e-n-t like my father. but ii am not him.
ii am loving, classy, && encouraging like my mother. but ii am not her. ii lOVE my siblings with all my heart. but they do not define me. ii lOVE my friends with all my heart. but they do not incline me.
ii am who I AM.
striving to be pleasing in His sight.not yours.
HE directs my path.not you.
so either join my journey or let me travel alone.
ii can only be who ii proclaim:
my G0D...GiVEN..NAME.